Unfortunately Pen, I have two similar regrets that popped up almost immediately. The first, walking through a slum in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia with polio victims many dragging themselves around on scarred, worn "legs" for lack of a cart. What keeps me sane - I can't remember the eye contact, I know I had.
The second thought, a couple seconds later - when I was hitch-hiking late 1970's through Portland Oregon at 3 in the morning, I came across a woman half in and half out of a car on the shoulder of the interstate. I ran up and saw that she was bloodied and battered and the driver telling me and my 135 pound body - you touch her and I'll beat the shit out of you. I didn't and he dragged her back into the car as he drove off. It's amazing how inaction can plague us every bit as much as our actions.
All we can do is keep trying to do better and opportunities will present themselves. AND take it easy on yourself, we truly are works in progress as long as we never give up. Thanks again Pen for a thought provoking post.
The saddest part of abusing a partner is how common it is for the abused one to keep going back to the abuser. You're right in saying my lived experiences in the past are shaping the me that exists in the present.
I periodically wonder if she survived to the point where she could break free but never with a sense of optimism.
Regarding your second comment, there's a fine line between letting some experience shape your future versus letting it confine your future. The first being much healthier than the latter.
Wow, Pen, that was some powerful shit. I understand that haunts you but try to be gentle on yourself. Today's you would react differently than the you in Kabul that day.
Not to diminish the value if this piece. But I can imagine your voice being in demand for audio books. Your tone and pacing are intense and your words so sincere.
Unfortunately Pen, I have two similar regrets that popped up almost immediately. The first, walking through a slum in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia with polio victims many dragging themselves around on scarred, worn "legs" for lack of a cart. What keeps me sane - I can't remember the eye contact, I know I had.
The second thought, a couple seconds later - when I was hitch-hiking late 1970's through Portland Oregon at 3 in the morning, I came across a woman half in and half out of a car on the shoulder of the interstate. I ran up and saw that she was bloodied and battered and the driver telling me and my 135 pound body - you touch her and I'll beat the shit out of you. I didn't and he dragged her back into the car as he drove off. It's amazing how inaction can plague us every bit as much as our actions.
All we can do is keep trying to do better and opportunities will present themselves. AND take it easy on yourself, we truly are works in progress as long as we never give up. Thanks again Pen for a thought provoking post.
Mark,
The saddest part of abusing a partner is how common it is for the abused one to keep going back to the abuser. You're right in saying my lived experiences in the past are shaping the me that exists in the present.
I periodically wonder if she survived to the point where she could break free but never with a sense of optimism.
Regarding your second comment, there's a fine line between letting some experience shape your future versus letting it confine your future. The first being much healthier than the latter.
Wow, Pen, that was some powerful shit. I understand that haunts you but try to be gentle on yourself. Today's you would react differently than the you in Kabul that day.
Thank you SusanA.
Powerful. And your narration is extraordinary.
Not to diminish the value if this piece. But I can imagine your voice being in demand for audio books. Your tone and pacing are intense and your words so sincere.
Full disclosure: My narration is performed by AI.
https://elevenlabs.io/speech-synthesis
I'm glad you approve of both the story, which is real and biographical, and the narration, which is not my voice.
You have a gift for painting a portrait, through memory, words, tone of voice.
It's so searing...it feels as though it's my memory, as well.
hw,
Thank you for taking in the story. A story without an audience isn't very meaningful. That isn't my voice. Full disclosure. I paid for a narrator.
The narration complements the story, but it's your words that are so memorable.