In retrospect, Part II
Looking back to improve the forward path
I was intelligent enough to blog my time in Iraq, and a few moments before I found myself ordered there at the height of the U.S. invasion that was played off as a “multi-national coalition of the willing” - which I believed at the time.
I wrote 1,001 posts in that publication, which I called, The Will to Exist. It drew mild attention, but for me, it was a journey inward and outward. I am overwhelmingly glad to have recovered the original database recently, and I will be sharing the past, updated with the present, with hopes for the future. A better future for all of us that are alive, and for those who might come after I am gone. Not just humans, but non-humans that fit into the category of life.
The above AI-generated image scares and impresses me. It is weirdly appropriate to the seemingly true lies that we humans tell each other. And I keep thinking about game theory.1
Can we humans really be rational agents, or will that be another species’ fate, somewhere else in the universe? It is hard to say. What I know at this moment is that I am grateful to still be here. I’m grateful to have readers, and I am most grateful of all that all of you who have stayed are willing to call me out when you disagree. It makes me better. I am getting better at being alive. Sentience is a beautiful, ugly thing and I wrestle every day with the privileges I was born into, and that so many billions of others were not.
If you or someone you know has self-awareness and demons, maybe we can learn from one another. Very soon, I’ll be taking this crew on a journey into madness that a con artist and his team sold me with one beheading video.2 TRIGGER WARNING: The link is not the video, but the article itself is incredibly disturbing to anyone who cares about living things. I am so sorry to present reality as I see it, but I must.
“Beware that when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster… for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.” —Nietzsche