Full disclosure: I have C-PTSD from many things, including being raised by people who believed in spreading the evil god of Christians, and the Bush era (senior then junior). But it was Trump’s bullshit that killed my dad with COVID-19, and alienated me from my family, who are suckers for a too good to be true set of alternate fear-mongering/insane and impossible promises.
I wanted to believe the adults in the room. The ones who promised everything would be alright. Truth is those people are pretty full of shit.
Republicanism is also suicide. As things stand in 2024, the Republican Party is nothing but a cult of people who want the world to end with everyone in it miserable and fighting.
I am intimately familiar with human ignorance, having been infected with it. My parents ensured that. I know my dad’s dad was an alcoholic, and his mom became a “true believer” and “Cookie Gramma” at the same time. Hope springs eternal. Paul died. Sarah died. They died alone and now they are dust.
Her cookies were a coping mechanism. His drinking was a coping mechanism. Both Paul and Sarah came up in Ohio, where reality is what it isn't—think JD Vance couch fucking. Reality is very, very malleable when it comes to humans.
JD Vance. Donald Trump. I don’t know what traumas they had to endure. All I know is that they want to force their own traumas into your throats and up your asses. That isn’t OK. Unless you are a cult member. I have my own traumas, and this particular cult isn’t consensual. Fuck off or die.
I have enough complex PTSD and I’m not letting yours into my life. Trump is hovering over his own grave already. Why should I let him win? Why should you? Live Free or Die. Trump is the opposite of liberty. The opposite of progress. The opposite of safety and security. So is everyone who supports the cult he has captured.
Speaking as someone who died in 2012 in Baghdad. These ghost messages are a warning and a prophecy. If you can’t stand up against the evil in front of you now, you’ll be eaten by it. Speak truth to the government that you allow and tolerate. Or die free for what you believe.
Fascist dictatorship is only a few months away. All it takes is complacency. Yours or mine.
I have several powerful "resentments" stuck in me since 2016. Four years of holding off on any climate action. Four years of losing international respect. And the last three plus years of the "haunting" of Trumpism. What an incredible waste of human consciousness.
I guess I have some form of PTSD - it is certainly rage. And it is totally ridiculous that a national leader could get so much support for planetary destruction, intolerance and the dismantling of our democracy. If the Founders were to show up now, their solution would be simple and quick. Trump/Vance are exactly what they were rebelling against. It is astounding.
That being said, Pen, my grip on sanity and an effort at a happy life tries to compartmentalize this debacle. After doing what I can, I try to dwell on important aspects of life. Growing and cooking food. Coddling our dog. Having mind blowing (good) chats with grandchildren, volunteering in the neighborhood.
And then after a good sleep, I wake up to read more horrors and the cycle of life continues. Rage...then encouragement...more rage...some hope...and on and on.
Hang tough, partner. I see hope on the horizon.
Sending a hug, Pen. Thank you.